Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i think i just lost a toe
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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