We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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