I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
