Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
