what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
This is classic penis vs brain.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
