It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Randomize
