what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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