i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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