my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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