we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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