woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
