i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
