Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
