I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
vagina is talking i cant
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
