You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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