So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
