i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
