I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
