You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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