I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
