very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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