left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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