Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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