well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
