I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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