I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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