bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
