Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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