Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
