While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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