just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
