A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
