I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
