she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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