she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
