Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
