I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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