hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
