I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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