it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
he fucked my hip out of place.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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