I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
