i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
