theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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