Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
