Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I wanna passion pit in your ass
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
