the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
