we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
well you can't waste a boner
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
