I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
My vagina is very pro this idea
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
