Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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