It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
